"...I sat down and wept, and mourned for many days; I was fasting..."
(Nehemiah 1:4)
Godly men of character not only listen well, but they also unashamedly shed tears when appropriate and spend time fasting. After Nehemiah heard the bad report regarding Jerusalem, the next thing he did was weep and mourn.
Nehemiah "sat down and wept." He literally sat down after he heard the report about his people and the city he loved; then he wept. Now, I know all of us men have been told, "Real men don't cry." That is simply false, just like the statement, "God helps those who help themselves." God helps those who actually cannot help themselves.
There are some great men of God mentioned in the Bible who wept. I went through the Scriptures and found the following: in addition to Nehemiah, there were: Jacob, Joseph, David, Elijah, Hezekiah, Ezra, Mordecai, Job, Jeremiah (known as the "weeping prophet"), Peter, Paul, John, and most of all, the God-Man, Jesus.
To be moved to the point of tears is nothing to be ashamed of. Where there is real emotion, there will be tears of joy or tears of sorrow. Mark Batterson writes, "When was the last time your wife saw you cry? How about your kids? What about your friends? If it's been a while, you're probably repressing something. And repression usually leads to obsession or depression. Your lack of vulnerability isn't courageous, it's cowardly! Toughen up. Tear up. Play the man!" (Source, Batterson, Play the Man, p. 36)
Our biblical text also says that Nehemiah mourned for many days. The Hebrew word is abal, which means to be languid, to walk with your head cast down. To weep or mourn for many days does not reveal a sign of weakness but realness. In John Eldredge's book, Waking the Dead, he has a quote in it (originally it came from Irenaeus, an early church father), and the first time I read it, I was taken aback, but the more I ponder it, the more I see how true it is: "The glory of God is man fully alive." It is okay to weep, or God would not have made tears.
Real men, godly men, also spend time fasting. Nehemiah (like others in the Bible, including Jesus) fasted. In fact, Jesus and Moses fasted 40 days without food or water. Amazing and miraculous. They were supernaturally aided, for you cannot live even a full week without water, let alone 40 days without water or food. Fasting is when you do without normal things like food in order to seek God more deeply. Fasting is usually born out of a need, a crisis, as it was here in the book of Nehemiah. God may be calling you to fast because He desires a spiritual breakthrough or He is about to do something momentous in your life. Moses fasted and received the Ten Commandments (Exodus 34:28); Jesus fasted and then began His public ministry (Matthew 4:17).
I fast often, and though it is not pleasant, it has wonderful spiritual blessings. During my most recent fast last week, I spent a few days seeking the Lord again for our church's major relocation project. I realized that the pain of the spiritual attacks and warfare were more painful than my lack of food. Until the pain of your situation exceeds the pain of you doing something about it, you most likely will not do anything. For example, the pain and heartache of unforgiveness will drive you to forgive when you realize forgiveness is not nearly as painful. Or when the pain and ill effects of being overweight exceed the pain of diet and exercise, then you are ready to act.
Godly men are not afraid to shed some tears and miss a meal or two in order to seek God in earnest.
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