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"Wives, submit to your own husbands... Husbands, love your wives."
(Ephesians 5:22, 25)
The primary biblical text that Ashley and I focused on during the couples' retreat was Ephesians 5. Here are the verses we read and commented on:
Verses 22-25: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."
Verses 31-33: "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
The Apostle Paul gives to all married couples a prescription for a blessed and happy marriage. If we line up our marriages according to biblical teaching, then we are guaranteed success. Sure, the world has little tolerance for God's Word, especially when it says that wives are to submit their husbands. But every entity or relationship must have a leader. I think the husband's requirement to love his wife as Jesus loved the church is even more difficult.
The teaching that helped me the most in understanding submission in marriage is the Trinity. Our God is three Persons in One. In this Godhead, there are roles and even submission. God the Father sends the Son; the Son obeys, but the Son does not send the Father. The Holy Spirit glorifies Jesus. There is equality in essence, meaning, each Person of the Trinity is as much God as the other two. But there is also submission and leadership. I think that provides a helpful insight to marriage. Husbands and wives are equal in essence and worth; however, in the relationship, the husband is to lead.
Marriage between a husband and wife should look more like a covenant instead of a contract. In a covenant relationship, you agree to do what is right always, even when your spouse does not. In a contractual agreement, you agree to do what is right if your spouse does.
Contracts are easily broken but not covenants. At the first sight of conflict and difficulty, those marriages that are more contractual look to run away. But those marriages that are more a covenant between two individuals, they stay and work things out.
Tomorrow we will look further at the difference between covenants and contracts as related to marriage.
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