There are five commonly known stages of grief, and by understanding them we can recognize what we're feeling.
1. Denial — This is when we struggle to believe what's happened. We might say things like "This can't be real," or "I just saw them yesterday," or "I cannot believe I am fired." During this stage we feel like everything is going in slow motion or we are in a dream and cannot wake up.
2. Anger — Grief brings anger. We might feel anger toward a person, a situation, ourselves, or even God. "Why didn't the doctors do more?" "Why didn't I say something sooner?" "Why didn't God do something?" These are normal feelings and it's important not to bottle them up.
3. Bargaining — We can bargain in the present and try to make deals in our minds, like "If I just do better, maybe this will go away." Or we try to bargain in the past by thinking, "If only I had done something differently." This stage often brings guilt and regret.
4. Apathy — Here, we might feel hopeless, tired, or disconnected. We may lose motivation and ask, "What's the point?" We might refuse to do things or see others. In this stage we must keep moving.
5. Acceptance — Finally, we reach a place where we can accept what happened. It doesn't mean we forget or stop caring. It means we understand we can't change the past, and we're ready to move forward in life, even with the loss.
Grief is real and it is tough but without it we can't move forward. Grief helps us face our pain and begin to heal. If we didn't have a way to process our emotions, we would stay stuck in our hurt instead of finding a path to peace.
When you experience grief, remember to go through it completely because that is how healing takes place.
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